How to Midlife Crisis Like A... Barbie?

3 Things Barbie Has Taught Me

Have you heard Barbie got a new movie? I know it’s hard to tell, as the marketing has been practically nothing.

Ha! JK! If your social media hasn’t been swathed in that same bright pink of my high school bedroom (and high school prom dress?) then I don’t know what planet you’ve been living on but clearly not this one.

(I’m the one in pink, in case that was unclear)

Barbie is everything… and everywhere… all at once!

And Barbie is the master of the Midlife Crisis, even though she’s technically only a doll and never ages. Still. She’s nailed the art of reinvention.

Confession time: I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I plan to. But it looks a lot more my speed than the 4,5689234343 animated Barbie movies my kids used to watch when they were little. So I’m pretty excited.

As a child of the 70/80s, Barbie was part of my forming identity. Her and She-Ra and this one movie about a blond lady raised in the wild by animals who walked through the wilds barefoot and could call birds that destroyed a helicopter… the three of them really defined my childhood and to a certain extent, my adulthood. I still walk through the wilds barefoot and try to get animals to do my bidding (though no helicopters have been harmed to my knowledge.) I still hold up a sword and pretend to have magic power (or in this case, the proverbial pen, which is mightier than the sword) and I’ve wanted to be about as many careers as Barbie has had in her long life as a never aging doll.

I remember the excitement of getting my own Barbie Dreamhouse (though my parents can’t remember when this was and there is no photographic evidence sadly) and I also remember all the ways I played with Barbies. Swapping heads with each other. Having GI Joe and his troops storm the Dreamhouse. Makeovers complete with bad haircuts. Creating complicated psychological dynamics my Barbies had to work through.

Barbie was part therapy, part storytelling, part aspirational.

Barbie was everything.

And she’s taught me a few things about getting through life as women, so let’s dig into it.

Be the center of your own life!

Barbie is nothing if not the main character of her own life. Ken is an accessory just like all the rest of the ‘stuff’ that comes with Barbie, but she’s the main character.

I’m not saying we should make the men in our lives accessories, but we also aren’t there to be a man’s “behind every good man” woman. We aren’t HIS accessories.

So how we do we center ourselves in our own narratives?

Imagine your life as a story where YOU are the main character. No side kick or support character for you. What would that look like? How would that change the trajectory of your life choices? What would you do differently? In what ways are you currently dimming your own light so your partner/kids/others can shine more brightly?

This is how we find our main character energy. What is the inciting incident that sets you on your heroine’s journey? What are your goals that will require work and commitment and growth to achieve? What are your roadblocks keeping you from that? What ways would you need to change to be the kind of person who can accomplish those goals?

Write it all down. Claim it. Get ready to make your life about YOU.

On Wednesdays we wear pink!

Okay let’s not go mean girl on anyone, but there’s this idea that to compete in a patriarchy we have to be more like Ken (men). Dress more like him. Act more like him. Can you imagine if Barbie did this? If Barbie toned down her pink to be more beige like Ken?

I’m not suggesting all women need to be extra feminine or wear pink. Nor do I think all women have feet molded perfectly to the shape of a pair Manola Blahnik heels.

I personally prefer the fall witch vibe of blacks and blues and grays and flats. I was not born with designer feet, sadly.

But if Barbie (and Elle Woods from Legally Blond) have taught us anything is that women can slay in pink heels and we should celebrate that, even us flatfooted dolls.

Celebrating the variety of ways in which women show up in humanity is something we could all do with more of. Wear pink. Wear heels. Wear those cute dresses. I’ll be over here living the goblin life and hearting all of your posts.

We don’t have to look or act like men to be successful or be taken seriously. It’s time to shift the paradigm. To make the world in OUR image, not just Ken’s.

Do the thing (or things!)

Perhaps one of the best lessons Barbie taught us is to do and be all the things. Let nothing stop you. Ken was always just Ken, but Barbie? She could (and still can) do it all. She showed young girls a world beyond being wives and mothers.

"Barbie was invented in 1959 and she had gone to the moon before women could have credit cards," Gerwig (the director of the Barbie movie) said on "The View."

Barbie showed us a world beyond what existed at the time (and only beyond what we still have to this day).

Barbie has been everything from a professional athlete to scientist to UNICEF ambassador to astronaut and more. I was going to list all the things Barbie has been here, but the list is so so so very long, I’ll just link it.

One thing Barbie has never been is… Ken. Just Ken. She’s never JUST Barbie. She’s the whole point.

If Barbie can change careers so many times, why can’t we?

If she can Midlife Crisis by going to space or the ocean or becoming a spy? Why can’t I start making movies in my 40s?

It’s time we take our Barbies out of their memory boxes and try them on for size. Let Ken clean the house while we go to Mars. Or you know, whatever.

The point is to bring a little bit of Barbie with you. The part that says, this is MY life. I get to make the rules. I get to center my own narrative in this existence. I’m nobodies sidekick.